Have you had enough of being just some guy? Had enough of people walking all over you? You see those guys every day, the one's who seem like something sets them apart and nobody walks on them. You look at them and you wish you could make people see you like that. You want to be the guy. I understand the feeling. I wanted to be the guy too. What sets him apart though isn't as difficult to understand as you might think though. What sets him apart is that he's powerful, and you're not. You could be though, because power is a skill, and while some are talented, power can be learned.

Maybe you've never seen that guy or thought those things, but since you're still reading, I'm going to assume that you are in fact either tired of people walking all over you, or you just in general desire an understanding of the mechanics of power.

Remember that in many cases, what separates the powerful from the powerless is fear. The powerless are afraid to be rude. They're afraid of confrontations. They are afraid of doing something awkward. You may not even realize your fear, but rather rationalize it by assuming you're being polite, or that that's just how you are. The reality is though, whatever the reason you must not be afraid to push the line, even if sometimes it means you step over it. Understand that while avoiding confrontation may seem like avoiding a potentially uncomfortable situation, confrontation isn't nearly as painful as a life without power.

The powerful aren't afraid of confrontation. If you want to be powerful, you have to be ready to step over that line, and out of your comfort zone. You have to be ready to stand tall in the face of people who might not like it, and hurt people back if they hurt you, even if it's not polite, because you know that if you aren't ready to show your power, you're not ready to be powerful.

There's a fine line between being powerful and being a jerk. Jerks often seem to get ahead, but the truth is that a jerk won't ever be as powerful as a powerful nice guy, because the powerful nice guy wins people's affection, which will always give him an advantage over the jerk who no one likes.

The first thing you need to know is that you're going to need consistency in virtually every aspect you communicate, whether it's nonverbal or spoken. Even if you pull off every tip in this and ten other articles, you're not going to seem terribly powerful if your words tell people you're weak every time you open your mouth. For that reason, if you decide to enforce the content of this article upon your life, make sure your words and personality match, and you're not just standing differently.

Relax. Being powerful isn't the same as being tense. In fact, being tense will tell other people that you're nervous, and that you lack power and confidence. Instead of being tense, keep your body relaxed. While your body should be relaxed, your actions should be purposeful and your posture should be both relaxed and erect, with gentle forward lean. Erect is not to be confused with rigid though, it simply means to keep your back relatively straight, and don't slouch or slump. Also, make sure your posture is varied, rather than just sitting with your back straight and your body stiff the entire time. Choosing when to change your posture is something of an art, because there is not exact right or wrong. If you shift your posture too often, you'll seem uncomfortable, and this will communicate that you're nervous again, but if you never change your posture, you'll seem rigid, which is a definite sign of lacking power.

While you want your postures to seem relaxed but erect, make sure that they're also fairly expansive. Don't be afraid to take up space. Don't be over the top with this, but don't let yourself pull into the smallest space available, instead take a reasonably large amount of space for yourself, and don't back down if someone else tries to invade your space.

While you shouldn't be afraid to take up space, your gestures should be firm rather than large. If you use expansive gestures, it's going to make you seem desperate and over the top. Make sure that every gesture you use is deliberate and firm, without being too big. Remember not to use the same gesture repeatedly, but rather try to change your gestures every time you use them.

Although you don't want to use gesturing too often, you should use gestures and vocal inflection to emphasize what you say. Not everything you say needs to be emphasized mind you, but rather try to emphasize the key words in your sentences. As a rule of thumb, you shouldn't gesture more than once a sentence. This won't always be exactly right, sometimes you may need to gesture more, other times you may need to gesture less, but in general try not to gesture too much, or you'll seem nervous.

Almost any of the approaches outlined so far will increase your power in the normal social world, be it high school or corporate hierarchy. You should take your approach and practice it until it's second nature. Implement it as your standard behavior and make it so natural a part of your everyday life that it become a part of who you are, and who you are will be a much more powerful person. In part two of this article, I'll be going over a few more approaches, including appropriate eye contact and when to interrupt. I'll also be going over an example time line for making your rise to power seem natural and flowing.