Everyone wants to be happy. Ask yourself though, what have you actually done to make your life happy? Most people will answer that they often do things that make them happy. It's important though to know the difference between doing things that make you happy, and doing things to improve the overall happiness and quality of your life. You may pause here and ask, what's the difference?

The difference is really whether the feeling lasts. If you do something, and it's fun while you're doing it, but afterwards you go back to your life and everything is the same, you haven't actually made your life any happier, and you may have actually detracted from it by setting things you enjoy in contrast the level of happiness you experience in your everyday life. If you're not enjoying your life then having fun sometimes is going to make your life depressing in the long run, as it becomes clear that your life isn't something you enjoy.

Enjoying life is simple, but many people overlook how it's done in their rush to enjoy other things. In the end this brings them sadness as the contrast rises between the things they have enjoyed, and the level at which they enjoy their life itself. You can see this clearly in the corporate worker who lives for the weekend, or the student who lives for summer vacation.

This can be effected by anything from the love life to the body, and while the steps presented in this article are a good first step they should not be seen as the first path in a journey to happiness.

Step one is to separate who you are from what you have. In western culture, we often make the mistake of using what we have or can have as a way to define who we are. We feel happy when we get something new, or when we have something good. The more emphasis we put on how much a thing makes us happy, the more it will hurt if that thing should age, break, or be otherwise lost. It's okay to feel good about getting something good, but don't let what you have define you. You should still be you if all your things are stripped away, and you should still be able to enjoy your life.

We also tend to keep memories attached to our possessions. This can be a huge drain on happiness because every item will be eventually lost or broken, because no item is immune to the ravages of age. If we keep our memories in objects, that lends an artificial mortality to our memories. Important memories last a lifetime by nature, and all you do by attaching it to a memento is cause yourself to suffer.

Bear in mind I'm not asking you to rid yourself of all your worldly goods. I'm merely suggesting you begin to separate yourself from them. If you find that you're happy when you drive your sports car, ask yourself why driving your sports car should make you any happier than walking.

What I would suggest you dispose of are mementos and knick knacks. If an item has sentimental value to you, throw it away to cast off the artificial mortality it would grant to the feeling or memory you've attached to it.

Step two is to succeed. It's important to the happiness of every person that they succeed in their daily lives. This means different things for different people, and it's important to remember that just because you don't succeed the way other people succeed doesn't mean you've failed. Just because you don't become rich, or famous, or notable in your field, doesn't mean that you can't be happy and successful.

The trick here is in what goals you set for yourself. Not everyone can succeed in making 10 million dollars or owning a mansion. Everyone though can succeed in something. If you drink every night, perhaps you could set a goal to spend two nights of the week sober. If you make poor grades, maybe you could set a goal to study for an extra hour twice a week. No matter who you are, there's some goal you can set.

Make sure that you set ever increasing goals for yourself, and succeed at them. If you drink seven nights a week, don't just let yourself continue to do it always setting the goal of five nights a week but never reaching it, and once you've gotten it down to five nights a week, you can cut it down to three or four, and then two or three. Maybe eventually you only drink on weekends. Setting and succeeding at these goals will increase the overall happiness and quality of your life.

Step three is to be what you are. Some things you can change, but some things you cant. If you can come to terms with yourself, you'll find that the happiness in your life will increase greatly. This means accepting your nature and yourself. If you're gay, don't pretend you're strait. If you find yourself feeling wild or creative, don't bottle it up. Searching for the truth of yourself can be difficult, and it often takes a lifetime. It will help speed this process if you start off by allowing yourself to come to terms with your animal nature.

At a basic level we are animals. If you try to deny this and try to be something else, you're not going to find yourself as happy as you might be. We would all like to think of ourselves as something higher, but in reality the only thing that sets us apart is our reasoning skills. We still have all the drives, faculties, emotions, and traits of an animal, so it's unreasonable to think we were meant to be something else. You may aspire to rise above what you are, but when something is in your nature, it's in your nature.

Step four is to make yourself be dynamic. You need to be able to let go of your past or you'll find it difficult to move into your future. If you've been dating someone forever, and they dump you, don't pine over them too long. If you fail to let go, you're needlessly decreasing the overall joy in your life by clinging to the past.

Step five is to fill your life with love. Affection, whether from pets or people is essential to the happiness of any living person. Make sure that your life contains worthwhile emotional relationships, and don't let yourself become isolated. Make certain to open yourself up to relationships. It can be tempting in western culture to alienate everyone, especially for males in whom emotional intimacy is generally discouraged. Even if you're male though, you need to find someone with whom to share emotional intimacy.

The first place most people look for relationships is their family. Your family has been there for you since you were born in most cases, although sometimes this isn't the case. Those who find their families have been there for them should be sure to draw emotionally close to their families. Even if their not your favorite people, their your family and you should do your best to cultivate a good healthy relationship with them. Failing that, you should try to pursue friendships and perhaps even romantic relationships. These may provide Some Even if your family isn't a viable source of emotional support, and you haven't been able to get a friend or female companion you can get a pet. Make certain though that you don't stop at a pet, work towards healthy emotional relationships with people.


Some people find that they can increase their happiness simply by deciding to be more happy. Others by simply deciding to take steps to increase their happiness. Most people though will have to actually take steps to increase the happiness of their life.

Obviously, instant happiness isn't lasting. Many people feel a flash of instant gratification and confuse it for happiness, failing to realize that being happy many times is not the same as increasing the overall happiness of their lives. These people likely find themselves prone of depression, and feel both restless and listless when their not doing something to make themselves happy. People who's lives are overall happy, enjoy life even when their doing nothing.

If you're thinking that you should try one or more of the steps suggested in this article, I'd like to suggest that you don't put it off, and don't say you'd like to. If you put it off, you'll be happy later. If you're always putting off your happiness, you'll never be happy. Furthermore, if you say you'd like to take one of these steps, but you put off following through, you fall into the same trap. If you only say you'd like to increase the happiness of your life, then you still won't be happy. If you want to take one of the steps presented in this article, take it. Don't take it tomorrow, or next week. Take it now. These tips aren't likely to pay off immediately anyway. The main payout of these may take weeks or months to come into full bloom.