If you enjoy this content don't forget to subscribe via RSS or eMail!

The art of dating has undergone a lot of evolution in recent decades. The younger generations tend to date more for fun, and they often meet and engage in group outings rather than heading straight into the traditional one on one style dates. Speed dating and the Internet too have changed how we seek the opposite sex.

Despite all this, there is almost always a first encounter where the relationship takes a turn towards being more exclusive. The first time the two of you go somewhere as a couple rather than as two individuals in a group. Recently this has become often overlooked as couples have known each-other and perhaps even been friends before hand. Identifying it though allows you an opportunity to make it into a memory that could last a lifetime.

These tips are written with the assumption that you are the male, your partner is female, and you as the male are responsible for the planning of the encounter. If these are not the circumstances, you may still find these tips provide you a valuable insight into the workings of the planning and construction of your date.


1. Plan Ahead - If you want things to go smoothly, don't try to play it by ear. If you don't plan ahead, you'll find that while the date may flow smoothly, you won't have as great a control over the structure, which may cause the date not to reach it's potential.

Plan the evening like you would structure the plot in a story. Think of the evening in five parts, in the first of which you want to start off doing something exciting and easy to follow. In the second part move into something a little calmer. In the third part move into an activity even more exciting and easy to follow than the activity in part one. For part four, if possible plan something calm and simple to wind down the evening. In part five you part ways.

You may find that a date with more or less parts is more appropriate to your situation, but the important part is taking the time to think through each part. How are you going to get there, what are you going to do when you get there? Are the locations you want to visit going to be open and available, over crowded? Do you have all the money you'll need? Think through each part, and make sure you've thought over all the details ahead of time. This will help give the encounter direction, and help to prevent any unfortunate circumstances ruining your date.

2. Be Spontaneous and Fluid - While it is important to plan ahead, it's at the same time important to be spontaneous and exciting. If she feels like the date is planned down to the last word, she's likely to feel like you're boring and rigid. Have a plan, but be prepared for things to change on the fly, or to take opportunities you weren't expecting to present themselves. Depending on the circumstances, you may find it to your advantage to make the entire plan seem so spontaneous and natural that she doesn't know it's been planned. Don't claim the entire date was unplanned unless you really think you can pull it off, but you may decide that a few of the less obvious parts were unplanned.

Also, while you should have a list of suitable topics for conversation, make sure to bring them up in a natural fashion. Conversation shouldn't seem rigid or planned, so even if you have planned out your conversations, make sure they seem natural, and that if she starts talking about something, you don't try to change the subject. Instead, make sure you talk to her about it until she changes the subject. Actually, a lot of the time one of the best strategies for conversation is to encourage her to talk, and you listen to her talk, and respond with short well thought out answers.

3. Plan it Around Her - The evening's events should be planned around her, not around you. Before planning the date, do your homework and find out what she likes, and what she doesn't like. Food allergies can really ruin her day, so you might ask around to make sure. The point here, make sure that you will do things that are likely to make her happy, and avoid things that are likely to make her not happy. You could always guess about these things, but really if you run blind you're likely to hit a wall.

Try to find out as much as you can about her without making what you're doing obvious. Analyze to the best of your ability any hints on their person about the sorts of things they like to do. It will be much easier for you if they have a well maintained online account, so try to find them and friend them on social networking sites if you haven't done that already. Then, look over her profile for hints of the kinds of things she likes, and extrapolate to the best of your ability what the two of you could do that would be to her liking. If her profile is sparse you should look over her friend's profiles. The average of her friends is likely to provide a loose insight into her.

4. Make it Memorable - I've said it before and I'll say it again, the first date is going to be remembered as long as the relationship lasts, and perhaps longer. The first date can and probably will set the tone for the entire relationship, so you've got to make it memorable. Of course, you're not going to make it memorable so she can remember it, because as I mentioned it's going to be remembered anyway. Rather, you're making it memorable to set the mood for the relationship. You want the relationship to be memorable rather than hum drum, so use the first date to set that sort of mood.

This means doing what you're least able to do at this stage of the relationship; something fantastical and heart felt. Something the two of you will enjoy remembering together. Don't take it too far, but don't take it not far enough either, because if you let your first date be hum drum, your relationship will be hum drum as well.

5. Be Romantic - Not to be confused with limousines and fancy restaurants, true romance is a thing of idealism and beauty. Even if the girl doesn't realize it herself, there's a good chance she'll be pleased if she comes face to face with a really romantic situation. Romance is the better side of life; a fantasy of life in which only the good side of things show. In romance, there shouldn't be dumps, or bathroom breaks. Avoid hobos and hardship altogether.

While on the date, try to expose her to nothing but the good things in life. Sunrises or sun sets, long walks by the ocean where there's nothing but pretty sand and serene waves. When choosing the route to take, plan ahead to avoid going through bad neighborhoods or passing anything unsavory. Even if you have to go a little out of the way, you'll certainly be better off taking a route that drives down a beautiful strip or through a forest over passing some homeless people and a falling in building. If the date is causing you financial hardship, you shouldn't be on the date. If you are though, don't let the hardship show. Pay with a credit card or sufficient cash, and don't let the pain over giving up the money show.


Again, the first date will be a memory that sticks in your mind and hers as long as your relationship lasts, and perhaps longer. You only get the chance for one first date, and it will have a permanent effect on the tone and build of the relationship. For those reasons, and just because she deserves it, make sure the first date is nothing short of a dream come true for her.

According to the film Hitch the first three dates are the deciding period between extended relationship and acquaintance. The first date alone though decides whether there will be second and third dates, and therefore carries weight above and beyond that of the other two of the vital three first dates. If she feels like the date was nothing more than another dinner but this time with some guy, the relationship is likely to end with you as some guy. That's why you've got to make sure that you make the most of your only opportunity at the first date.